Monthly Archives: April 2012

A Happy Marriage: Some Reflections

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What makes a happy marriage?  That’s a question with a lot of answers.  I can’t cover everything here, but there are certain qualities that come to mind.  Trust, honesty, love, respect, kindness, patience and forgiveness are several aspects of a good relationship.  Are these qualities earned or are they freely given?

A marriage needs unconditional love.  This is not the love of emotion but the love of choice.  It is “agape” or godly love.  It is a love no one can earn.  No one “deserves” unconditional love.  It is freely given by choice.  It is the kind of love that says, “I love you even though you are driving me crazy and I don’t really like being around you right now.”  It is the kind of love that chooses to be married every day, not just on the wedding day.  If someone must perform to a certain level in order to be loved, that love is conditional.  Humans crave unconditional love, not performance based love, especially in marriages and families.  Beware of “I love you, but…” statements, which often indicate that love has conditions attached to it.

Trust, on the other hand, must be earned.  Trust, like fine crystal, can be broken in an instant and can be very hard to repair, if at all.  Loving a person does not mean automatically trusting that person.  Trust is built over time by trustworthy behavior.  Words do not build trust unless those words match the behavior.  It is quite possible to love a person without trusting that person.  When trust has been deeply wounded, only trustworthy behavior over a long period of time can rebuild it.  Sometimes, trust is so badly damaged, it can never be restored.

Kindness, respect, honesty, patience and forgiveness must be freely given.  These are all linked to unconditional love.  Your spouse should not need to earn your kindness or your patience.  If you are kind and patient it is because you are a kind, patient person.  If you value the dignity of your spouse’s humanity you will be respectful, even when your spouse behaves poorly.  No one needs to earn your honesty.  Simply be an honest person.  Be forgiving.  Don’t wait for the offender to “earn” your forgiveness.  Carrying a grudge is like bearing a large rock on your shoulders.  You end up suffering the most by harboring your un-forgiveness and waiting for the offender to change.

Forgiveness is not the same as trust.  Forgiving a person does not mean you automatically trust that person.  Trust
must be earned.  Trust is conditional.  You can forgive someone while still holding that person accountable for the offense.  Forgiving a person does not mean allowing that person to continuously repeat the offense.  For example, if a man steals $100.00, you can forgive him for the theft and at the same time expect that he return the stolen money and face jail time.  Forgiveness doesn’t mean letting people off the hook for bad behavior.  In a marriage, spouses must be forgiving yet hold each other accountable for behaviors that are toxic to the relationship.

Ask yourself what qualities you expect your spouse to earn, and what qualities you freely offer.  It may open up new perspectives on your relationship.

Uh Oh, Mother’s Day Is Coming! WWJD?!

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Mother’s Day is just around the corner.  Not everyone can be a mom, but we all have a mom somewhere.  Some people have good relationships with their mothers and some people don’t.  Nevertheless, motherhood is certainly worth honoring. There is no other relationship quite like a mother-child relationship.  Even a mostly-stay-at-home dad like me can’t be a mom.  Moms are special.  Only mom’s can carry us in the womb, give birth to us, nurse us and connect with us in ways no one else can.  Even Jesus has a mom, and he’s God!

So, what would Jesus do for Mother’s Day?  Let’s begin with what Jesus would not do for Mother’s Day.  He would not disrespect his mom or be rude to her.  He would not ignore his mom.  He would not address her in a way that would downplay her significance in his life and ministry.   There are folks who actually teach from Scripture that Jesus did all these things.  Addressing such misconceptions is beyond the scope of this article.  Suffice it to say that Jesus, being God and a faithful Jew, knew all about the commandment to “honor thy father and mother” and he kept it perfectly.  If you are a Christian, that makes Jesus your brother.  The mother of my brother is my mother, too.  So, guess what?  Mary is your mother!

So, what would Jesus do for his very own mother?  Being God, I suppose Jesus would save his mother from sin.  Mary herself said, “I rejoice in God, my savior.”  God did save Mary from sin, but in a unique way.  One can be saved by being pulled out of a muddy pit, or by being prevented from falling into the pit in the first place.  That’s how Jesus saved Mary.  He allowed her to be conceived without original sin in the womb of her mother, Saint Ann.  This is what we call “The Immaculate Conception.”  Of course Jesus would do that for his very own mother.  What loving son wouldn’t if he could?  God can do it, so he did it.

Jesus, being the King of Glory, would also enthrone his mother next to him as the “Queen Mother.”  Again, Jesus being God and a good Jew would know all about the role of the queen mother in the kingdom of Israel. In the Scriptures we see Bathsheba taking her place as queen mother next to her son Solomon, the king of Israel.  In fact, people made their requests to Bathsheba because they knew Solomon would listen to her and grant her requests.  Solomon didn’t stop being the king; he just respected and loved his mother and her role in his kingdom.  That’s what Jesus does as the King of Glory (like when Mary came to Jesus at the wedding and told them they were out of wine).  That’s why we call Mary the Queen of Heaven.  Because we know who the King is, and we know who the King’s mother is!  Mary gets a crown from Jesus for Mother’s Day, not just a Hallmark card or flowers!

Jesus would not only save his mother from sin, he would save her from the corruption of the grave.  This is what The Assumption is all about.  Jesus took his mom up to Heaven to be with him.  We see other people in the Bible being taken up into Heaven body and soul, so, why not Mary?  Why wouldn’t Jesus allow this for Mary his mother?  If you could prevent your mother from turning to dust in the grave before going to heaven, wouldn’t you do it?  God can do it, so he did it.  It’s only fitting.

When Mary said, “All generations shall call me blessed,” she meant it.  Mary is: 1) the specially chosen daughter of the Father, 2) the spouse of the Holy Spirit, 3) the mother of the Son.  If the Holy Trinity offers her such honor and regard, how can we dare not?  Mary is the only “perfect” disciple!  She is the only human being that was with Jesus from his human conception to his throne in Glory.  Imagine if she would have said “No” instead of “Yes” to the angel Gabriel.  Mary’s “Yes” brought salvation to the world.  Mary is the New Eve.  Her obedience undid Eve’s disobedience.

Now, if you’re thinking, “That all sounds nice, but where does the Bible say all that stuff about Mary?”  My first response is, “Where does the Bible say that everything that’s true for Christians has to be in the Bible?”  The Bible makes no such claim.  Secondly, most of it is in the Bible but folks aren’t taught about it.  Instead they are taught that Jesus primarily brushed his mother aside.  Or, at best, they are taught that she was a virgin who gave birth to Jesus in a manger, but that’s it.

Fear of turning Mary into an idol of worship has prevented people from treating her as Christ treats her.  Christians are supposed to be Christ-like.  So, for Mother’s Day, be like your older brother Jesus!  WWJD?  If you are a Christian, what will you do for Mary, your mother?  Catholics don’t worship Mary as if she is God.  We simply follow the lead of Jesus in honoring and loving her.  There’s nothing like the mother-child relationship.  Knowing this, Jesus gave us his mother.  It’s OK to embrace her.  All she does is point us to Jesus.  What else would the perfect disciple do?

For more information about Mary and Scripture, I suggest reading “Hail, Holy Queen” by Scott Hahn.  A lot of information about Mary can also be found here.

And here’s a great video highlighting Scriptural points about Mary: Video

What Do You See In The Mirror?

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“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”  I can’t remember where that quote came from, but I like it.  It dovetails nicely with “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  When Jesus was asked to identify the greatest commandment, he said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.”

There is a kind of “worm theology” that emphasizes human depravity to the extreme.  Such theology paints an image of humanity being no better than worms in God’s eyes until we are saved by Christ.  Once saved, we become “covered” in the righteousness of Jesus, and God then sees Jesus when he looks at us instead of seeing lowly worms.

Society and the media pressure us with “you’re-not-good-enough” messages.  Or, the message is, “You have to be better than others, so look out for number one.”  Arrogance and self-abasement seem to be popular choices.

Since we are sinful creatures, God certainly does not like to look upon our fallen natures.  However, with grace being greater than all our sin, I’m inclined to believe that God views us as creatures worth redeeming.  His desire is to actually make us clean, not just cover up the muck.  I don’t think he sees worms.  I think he sees his beloved, wounded creatures in need of healing.  Evil has done a number on us, because we allowed it to.

If we are honest, we will see flaws when we look in the mirror.  We will see our sins and our wounds.  We also need to see people worth redeeming when we look in the mirror.  When we shed the self-centered “chains” of being a “complete worm” we are able to focus our attention away from self and onto others.  Then, we see our neighbors and ourselves the way God sees us.  Then we can love our neighbors as ourselves, the way God does.  We are all wounded.  We all need healing.  We can’t save ourselves.  We can, however, point each other to the Great Physician who loves us and wants to heal us.  His grace and love can flow through us, but the “on switch” is our own humility.

No one gets to Heaven by earning it.  We can’t earn it.  But we are supposed to be there.  God wants us there with him.  That’s why we were created.  Realizing and accepting that fact is a humbling experience.  We are not worthy of being there, but we are worth being there.  God wants to remove the muck so we can enter the purity of Heaven, but he won’t force cleanliness upon us and violate our free will.  We tend to prefer playing in the muck, even though it doesn’t provide us with the real satisfaction we yearn for.  So we are offered chance upon chance to respond to God’s grace.

Self-centeredness can work in different ways.  Arrogance is placing self above others.  Abasement or degradation makes everyone else more valuable than self.  Either way, time is spent primarily thinking of self.  “Love your neighbor as yourself” is a balance that gives everyone “God-esteem.”  If you don’t love yourself the way God does, you’ll be hard-pressed to love others the way God does (especially your enemies).  Humility is the way in and the way out of your true self.  Humility is the first step towards God and true contentment.

Implicit Faith: Wow, I Never Knew I Was A Catholic!

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One of the things I appreciate about Catholicism is that no one is without hope.  In my journey through non-Catholic Christianity, I encountered individuals and denominations that were very black-and-white in their ideas about salvation.  Either a person “confessed the Lord Jesus as personal Lord and Savior” or they were damned for eternity.  This damnation included people who had never even heard of Jesus.  The urgency of missionary work was fueled by the idea that millions of people were dying and going to Hell because they never heard about Christ.

Ironically, there are those who accuse the Catholic Church of having a similar black-and-white approach.  The Catholic Church has said that there is no salvation outside the Church.  On the surface, this does seem pretty cut and dry.  And there have been many misunderstandings and conflicts about that statement.  However, it does not mean that only people who call themselves Catholic are going to Heaven.  A better way of looking at it is to say that there are lots of people going to Heaven that never knew they were Catholic.  Even those same Christians that call Catholicism non-Christian are considered Christian by the Catholic Church.  They are “separated brethren.”  They are a part of the very Church they abhor.  More irony.

Everyone who is saved is saved by God’s grace through faith.  Catholicism teaches that there is such a thing as implicit faith.  God is love.  Even a person who has never heard of Jesus can respond to and follow ways of love.  Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except by me.”  What is truth?  Jesus is truth.  A person can respond to, seek out, and love truth without ever hearing the name, “Jesus.”  The more one knows and understands about Jesus, however, the more culpable they become when rejecting him and his message.

So, why even bother spreading the Gospel?  Just let everyone seek his or her own truth and all will be well, right?  Nope.  God loves us and has revealed himself to us in Jesus.  The best way to meet God and to know God is to meet Jesus and to know Jesus.  Jesus told us to spread the Gospel and to make disciples of all nations.  Although God will honor a sincere search for love and truth, what he really desires is an intimate relationship with us, not a meandering quest.  Missionary work is intended to be part of how God reaches out to the world.  Sure, God wants us to seek him.  Even more so, God seeks us.  He is not a distant, higher power.  God is an intimate lover.  That’s what the humanity of Jesus is all about.  That’s what the Church is all about.

Catholics are not “better” than anyone because of the Faith.  We have a greater responsibility than anyone to be true to the Gospel and to be an example for the world.  We need to be the most humble, loving people on the planet.  “To whom much is given, much will be required.”  Catholics need to heed the words spoken at the end of Mass, “Go in peace to love and serve the world.”  That’s when we take the life and love God gives us and distribute it like he does.  We are Christians.  We spread faith, hope and love.  The greatest of these is love.  God is love.

Hand Me The Holy Remote, Will Ya’?

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What if you had the opportunity to be a “fly on the wall” of the upper room during Jesus’ Last Supper?  I don’t mean hearing someone tell the story about the Last Supper, I mean really being there.  Do you think you would be bored, or would you be listening to every word spoken by Jesus and his apostles?

What about Jesus’ crucifixion (or for that matter, any crucifixion)?  If you were actually there, would you be bored?  Would you be horrified or disturbed in any way?  Would the experience leave an impression on you?

If you saw the resurrection of Jesus, or even just heard his disciples talking excitedly about it, would you be moved?  Would you at least be interested or curious?

I was once among those cradle Catholics that found the Catholic Mass to be routine, uninspiring, and even boring.  I tried to pick the service with the best music and the priest with the best homilies.  All the other stuff in between was nice, but usually just tolerated as traditional formality.  My American thirst for entertainment and emotional inspiration was hard to satisfy.  So, naturally, I church hopped.  Church hopping is the spiritual equivalent of channel surfing.  “Isn’t there anything GOOD on?!”

When I finally realized what was happening in Mass, my entire perspective changed.  The Catholic Mass allows us to be present at the Last Supper, the crucifixion and the resurrection in a real way.  It’s not just someone retelling an old story over and over “lest we forget.”  We are actually there.  Not in a symbolic way.  Not in a subjective way (i.e. “I’m there in my imagination or in my heart if I feel it”), but in a true, real, objective way.  We are there just as surely as the apostles were there.  Millions of angels and saints are worshiping with us, saying the prayers and singing the hymns!  All of it is real, even if I feel bored and uninspired.  The reality does not depend on my feelings, the music, or the sermon.   God makes it happen with or without my participation.  Yet, knowing the reality, how can I be bored?  I no longer can be.

Gone are the days of wishing the music was better or the preaching was more interesting.  Gone are the days of searching for that church with all the right programs, the best worship team or the best preacher.  No more channel surfing.  It’s nice to have inspiring music and great oration, don’t misunderstand me.  The point is Jesus always shows up at the Catholic Mass, music or no music, good sermon or bad sermon.  He is present, spiritually and physically, whether or not I choose to be.  He is there, waiting to embrace me.  How can I be bored with Jesus in the room?

Jesus Vs. Religion: Do We Have To Choose?

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Make your choice!  Jesus or religion!  I understand where this idea comes from.  Partly, it comes from Jesus’ condemnation of religious hypocrisy, particularly hypocritical religious leaders.  It also stems from certain theologies that dismiss the role of works in salvation.  After all, if we can leave works out of the equation, we can also leave out any structure.  If we don’t need any structure, we don’t need any religious organization.  The result is a “Jesus and me” approach where it really doesn’t matter where (or even if) I go to church, just as long as I believe in Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior.  And I certainly don’t need any stuffy, hypocritical church leaders coming between me and my Jesus.

Additionally, many Christians believe that the Church is an invisible body.  In other words, since only God knows the heart, no one really knows who is saved and who is lost.  Therefore, the Body of Christ cannot really be seen.  It exists in a purely spiritual, invisible form.  Religion, however, is visible.  Religion includes certain works and structures and visible manifestations of the faith.  Consequently, some Christians conclude that being a Christian is incompatible with “religion.” But, is this really the case?

Jesus did indeed condemn religious hypocrisy.  However, he did not condemn the Jewish religion.  In fact, Jesus told the people, “Do what the religious leaders tell you, just don’t act the way they act, for they sit on the seat of Moses.”  In other words, Jesus recognized that the religious leaders had valid authority.  Judaism is a valid religion and Jesus confirmed its validity.  Jesus was also a faithful Jew.  Jesus said, “I did not come to destroy the law but to fulfill it.” Jesus did not destroy religion; he took it to the next level.

Jesus told Peter, “You are Peter and upon this rock I will build my church.  And I will give to you the keys to the kingdom of heaven.  Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Jesus created a new sacrifice and a new seat of authority.  The seat of Peter picks up where the seat of Moses leaves off.  Jesus created the offices of pope and bishop.  He obviously intended to establish a visible religion with authority and structure.  Peter became the prime minister for Jesus.  We can see the apostles exercising apostolic succession by filling the office left vacant by Judas.

Being a Christian is not a matter of choosing between religion or Jesus.  Being a Christian is a both/and proposition.  Jesus and his religion go together.  The purpose of the Church is to make Christ visible to the world.  The Church is the Body of Christ.  Unfortunately, what the world often sees is a divided church.  But a house divided against itself cannot stand and does not provide a strong witness.  This is why it is crucial for the church to be united and organized.  The Catholic religion is the realization of the visible, organized, authoritative Church that Jesus established 2000 years ago.  The Church is a visible city on a hill, not a candle under a bushel or a buffet of options.

Do some Catholic religious leaders behave badly?  Yes.  Do some Catholics become so “religious” that they lack a relationship with Christ?  Yes.  Are a lot of Catholics hypocrites?  Yes.  None of this is unique to Catholicism.  None of it negates the authenticity of the Church that Jesus built on Peter any more than the behavior of Judas negates the authenticity of apostolic authority.  Don’t leave Peter because of Judas.  Don’t leave the religion of Catholicism to find Jesus.  You don’t have to reinvent your own Christian religion.  It’s already been prepared for you by the Master.

Marriage: A Real Vocation

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Recently, I was asked to participate in a discussion group about marriage.  The question posed to me was, “What are some of the biggest marriage issues you see in your therapy practice?”  I could have talked for hours about communication issues, money issues, unrealistic expectations, family-of-origin issues, gender differences, etc.  But, since it was a Catholic group with limited time, I decided to go more to the heart of the matter.  So, I began by saying that I believe three things are being extracted from marriage by society: vocation, sacrament and covenant.  One thing is being injected to replace these three things: self-centeredness.

Many people do not think of marriage as a vocation.  Rather than a divine calling, marriage becomes just another item on a list of “Things That Will Make Me Happy.”  A vocation is something to devote one’s life to.  It transcends feelings and emotions and relies on work, sacrifice, priority and commitment to bear the fruit of genuine joy and happiness that people long for.  Self-centeredness says, “This marriage is about making me happy.”  Vocation says, “We are in this marriage to serve God and each other.  It is our primary calling, not just our desire.”

Some non-Catholic Christian denominations ordain both women and men to the ministry.  I have seen it cause conflict in a marriage when both spouses feel called to the vocation of ministry.  The marriage and family becomes something to “work around” while they pursue their vocations.  There are essentially three vocations competing for attention and devotion in this scenario.  Even when only one spouse is called to the ministry it can be difficult for that person to devote enough time to both vocations.

I love that the Catholic Church regards marriage as a Sacrament.  It is “an outward sign, instituted by Christ, to give grace.”  Marriage is a vehicle by which people receive God’s grace.  The “outward sign” is the couple.  The marriage reflects Christ as the Groom and the Church as his Bride.  From the beginning, “a man leaves his mother and father, a woman leaves her home, and the two become one.”  Christ and his Church are united as one body.  A happy marriage requires lots of grace.

It’s not surprising that the secular world has lost sight of the sacramental aspect of marriage.  Unfortunately, so has much of Christendom.  A few years ago, I attended a wedding where the minister actually made a point of saying, “This is not a sacrament, as some might think.”  I knew that some Christians disagreed that marriage is a sacrament, but I was surprised to hear that rejection stated as part of a wedding ceremony.  I was also saddened by the reminder that so many fellow Christians have been denied the graces available through the sacramental life of the Church because of the Reformation.

Most folks these days think of marriage as a contract rather than a covenant.  A contract says, “We have a deal, at least, unless one of us breaks the deal.”  Covenant says, “We’re family now.  We are blood relatives.”   Both the Old Covenant and the New Covenant of God were sealed by blood.  The family of God is a blood relationship.  A blood relative is always a blood relative, regardless of legal proceedings.  This is why the Catholic Church says that if a couple is validly married in the eyes of the Church, they stay married for life.  A legal divorce does not change the blood relationship.  A covenant is not a legal state of being, but a relational state of being.  A contract protects people from each other.  A covenant embraces people as family.

A self-centered approach to life does not fit well with the ideas of vocation, sacrament or covenant.  The Church, of course, has always known this.  As society becomes increasingly “me” oriented, marriage and family life feels the strain.  Generally speaking, as the family goes, so goes the society.  Although I can’t discuss the concepts of vocation, sacrament and covenant with all of my marriage therapy clients, I can help them to see the toxic character of self-centeredness and the joys of true commitment.  Hopefully, some of God’s grace enters the relationship that way.

Quite frankly, many couples would spend a lot less money on marriage therapists if they only took advantage of the Sacrament of Confession.  But that’s a topic for another day.

For another interesting article about marriage as a vocation read this.

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

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Recently I found myself thinking about things I prayed for as a child.  As I reflected, it occurred to me that I can now see how some of those prayers have been answered.

I remember being in bed, in the darkness of my room, praying for my parents and my family.  My father was an airline pilot.  I sometimes worried about his safety.  I heard him tell stories about flying, including malfunctioning landing gear and landing the plane on its belly.  I prayed that God would protect him from crashing.  I prayed that God would give my parents long, happy lives.  They will both be 80 years old soon, with a multitude of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.  Yep, I think God said, “Ok, Tommy, I’ll keep an eye on them.”  (I’m sure others were praying as well).

I prayed for my wife.  I figured someday I would get married, so I asked God to help me find a good wife and to keep her safe, wherever she may be.  I didn’t know who she was yet, but God did.  I jumped the gun a few times thinking I had found her.  It took a snowstorm to finally bring us together.  I love how God works.

One of my earliest prayer memories is when I was in third or fourth grade.  I went to Catholic School, which often included attendance at Mass before class.  I remember kneeling during Mass, trying to process the many childlike questions about faith and God that bounced through my little head.  My prayer became, “God, please show me the way.”  That prayer resulted in quite a journey of many years.  The journey continues, and God is still saying, “Ok, Tommy, I’ll show you.”  I’m still learning, and God is still teaching.

I’m so grateful.  One of my prayers now is, “Don’t let me lose that childlike faith!”

Some Things Are Hard To Understand

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When I was studying for the ministry I came across things in the Bible that were hard to understand.  No surprise there.  Undaunted, I soldiered on trusting that my education and the guidance of the Holy Spirit would clear things up well enough.  Gradually, I became more unsettled by the realization that different people were teaching different things about the Bible.  “All of them claim to be led by the Holy Spirit,” I thought.  “All of them are highly educated.  Which one is correct?  Am I being taught the right things?  Will I teach the right things when I’m a minister?”  These questions lingered in the back of my mind as I did my best to follow Christ and his calling.

When I read passages like 2Peter 3:16 and Acts 8:30-31 my concerns grew.  Scripture is hard to understand.  Who would be my Phillip?  Who were the ignorant and unstable ones that twist the Scriptures to their own destruction and teach error?  There were so many choices, they could not all be right.  If the Bible is the authority for the Christian, who has the final say on matters of interpretation?  There is much disagreement, even on basic questions like, “How does one become saved?”  For example, is baptism necessary for salvation?  Nowhere in the Bible does it say “Accept Jesus into your heart as your personal Lord and Savior.”  Is salvation something a person can lose once they have it?  Are good works necessary for salvation?  Was the Holy Spirit giving people different answers to these important questions?  Why so many denominations with different answers?

I would hear people say, “I don’t believe it unless the Bible says it!”  But, where is that teaching found in the Bible?  Where does the Bible say that only those things found explicitly in the Bible are true?  It’s not in there.

One day I was introduced to some Scripture verses I had never noticed before.  1Tim 3:15 says that the Church of the living God is the pillar and bulwark of truth.  Matt 18:15-17 says to take disagreements to the Church.  Here we see the final authority.  The Bible says that the final authority is the Church, not the Bible.  Nowhere does the Bible claim itself to be the final authority.  It points us to the Church.  But, which church?  What if a Baptist and a Presbyterian and a Methodist have a disagreement?  Which “church” do they take it to?  There are literally thousands of denominations or “churches.”

The only Church that can historically document its existence back to Christ is the Catholic Church.  266 Popes can be counted all the way back to Peter.  Jesus said, “All authority in Heaven and on earth has been given to me.”  He told his apostles, “He who hears you hears me.”  He gave his authority to his Church before the New Testament was even written.  The authority of the Bible comes from Jesus through the Church that assembled it.  The Catholic Church has the final say.  Do other churches teach things that are true about Jesus?  Yes.  But the Catholic Church has the fullness of truth.  It is the whole package Christ wants us to have.  It is the Church established by Christ.  The Bible is one part of the treasure and authority given to the Catholic Church, the “pillar and bulwark of truth.”

I no longer worry if I’m in the “right denomination.”  Catholicism isn’t really a “denomination” anyway.  That’s a bit like calling the trunk of a tree a “branch.”  Whatever life is in the branches (denominations) comes from the trunk.  Catholicism is simply the Church.  Always has been, always will be.  I am humbled to be part of the Catholic Church and its 2000 years of experience and wisdom.  The Church has outlived every empire.  It has survived every attack from within and from without.  If it was just a human organization it would have imploded long ago.  It is an organism with Jesus Christ as the head and king, and the Pope as his prime minister.  Scandals have not destroyed it, wars have not demolished it, rebellions have not diffused it and the gates of Hell will not prevail against it.  It’s Christ’s Church.  He builds it.  The Holy Spirit guides it.  To love Jesus is to love his Church.  It is, after all, his Body.  It’s good to be home.

Umm…you’re praying to WHO?

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There was a time when I used to think it was wrong to talk to the saints in Heaven.  It seemed too much like idolatry to talk to anyone but God “up there.”  Besides, what would be the point?  God is the head honcho.  Why not go straight to the top with whatever was on my heart?  That was before I had a grasp of the beauty of the Communion of Saints and how it relates to the Body of Christ.

The Church is The Body of Christ.  Most Christians know this.  However, we often fail to consider what it means to be a body.  The Church is not just an organization, although it is organized.  The Church is a living organism, like our own human bodies, and the human body of Jesus.  A body has many parts, with only one head.  A body can be hurt and wounded in various ways.  However, the unique thing about The Body of Christ is that Jesus is the head, and you can’t kill Jesus.  Head shots just bounce right off.

Consider also that everything goes through the head of a body.  If my right arm has an itch and I scratch the itch with my left hand, the entire experience is processed and mediated by my brain.  A body can do nothing without passing it through the brain.  This is why the Scripture says that Jesus is “the one mediator.”  As we hear in the Catholic Mass, everything is done “through him, with him and in him.”

Another thing Christians forget to consider is that there is only one Church, and the saints in Heaven are members of that Church.  They are just as much a part of the Body of Christ as any Christian.  They are not dead, they are alive in Christ.  They are more alive than you and me since they are completely free from any tendency to sin!  If I talk to a saint in Heaven, I’m not talking to a dead person.  I’m talking to another part of the Body, and the whole experience is possible because of the one mediator, the head, Jesus Christ.  It’s like one hand scratching an itch on the opposite arm.  Everything goes through the brain.  When I talk to a saint in Heaven, I’m not leaving Jesus out or going around him, I’m partaking of his one mediation which keeps the whole body alive!  Like everything else about Catholic teaching, it is ultimately all about Jesus.

We are told in Scripture to pray for each other.  Most Christians will not hesitate to ask a fellow Christian to pray for them when times are tough.  That’s a type of mediation.  When we intercede for someone with prayer we are acting as a mediator between that person and God.  This does not leave out Jesus or bypass Jesus or offend Jesus.  The same holds true for the saints in Heaven.  If “the fervent prayer of a righteous person avails much,” how much more righteous can a person be than to be in Heaven with Jesus?  I want those folks up there praying for me, too!

Lastly, let me address the word “prayer.”  When I “pray” to a saint, I am not “worshiping” that saint.  Only God deserves worship.  It’s like when people used to say “Pray, tell me what dost thou meanest?”  To “pray” is just to “ask.”  When I “pray” to a saint, I’m just “asking” for that saint to pray for me.  It’s not like the prayers of worship that only belong to God.  It’s a beautiful thing to be able to talk to the saints in Heaven, and to have them “scratch an itch” for me.  And it’s only possible because of the one mediation of Jesus, the head.

By the way, don’t worry about if or how the saints will hear you.  The head has really good ears.  Your message will get through!