Category Archives: Prayer

“Pray, Which Leg Comes After Which?”

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A centipede was happy quite
Until a frog in fun
Said, “Pray, which leg comes after which?”
This raised her mind to such a pitch,
She lay distracted in a ditch,
Considering how to run.

When I was a child, my mother gave me a A Child’s Book of Poems.  I still have it and use it occasionally with my own children. The poem quoted above puzzled me for a very long time. In fact, it wasn’t until I was much older that I resolved my confusion.

I could not figure out why the frog wanted the centipede to talk to God about her legs. It almost seemed that the frog expected the poor bug to ask God in which order she should lose her legs as she was being eaten. What a strange poem. I didn’t get it.

It was the word “pray” that threw me off. I only understood the word in the modern sense. I had not yet read any Shakespeare or Old English and “pray” could only mean “talk to God” or “worship God” in my mind. The day I realized that “pray” could also mean “I ask you,” it all fell into place. The frog was teasing the centipede by asking her to explain how she walked with so many legs. “I ask you, when you walk, which leg comes after which?” Aha!

I had a similar epiphany during my reversion from Protestantism back to Catholicism. I had been told by well-meaning Protestants for over 20 years that it was wrong to pray to Mary and the saints because it was idolatrous to worship them. When I finally remembered that “pray” can also mean “I ask you,” it all fell into place. Asking a saint for intercession is not the same as worship. Not even close. If asking someone to pray for me was worship, then why ask my friends, my family, my pastor or anyone else to pray for me? Shouldn’t I go “straight to God” with everything?

Actually, it’s even possible to ask God something without worshiping him. An atheist could ask God, “If you really do exist, would you please give me a sign?” but that would not be the same as worshiping God. “Prayer” and “worship” are not synonyms.

“But, the saints are dead people,” I was told. “They can’t hear you or respond to you. How could they hear all the prayers of everyone? They would have to be divine!” No, they would not have to be divine, but they would need divine assistance. With men it is impossible, but with God all things are possible. The saints are certainly “with God!” In fact, except for Jesus, the saints are the most perfect part of the Body of Christ.

Physical death does not amputate people from the Body of Christ. They become more perfect than you or I. They are perfectly righteous. “The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” (James 5:16) Why would I not want to ask Mary and the saints to pray for me!? (I need all the help I can get!)

Jesus is the “one mediator between God and man,” but, as part of his body, we get to share in that one mediation by praying for each other, sacrificing for each other and loving each other. This doesn’t change when we die and go to Heaven. It only gets better. Through him, with him and in him we live and move and have our being.

Now I see the beauty of praying to the saints. I ask them for their prayers. Together, we go straight to God with our requests. Together, we worship God. Best prayer partners I ever had.

Pray, will you not also pray to the saints?

 

Incidentally, while the A Centipede poem confused me, the W poem on the same page immediately became one of my favorites:

The king sent for his wise men all
To find a rhyme for W.
When they had thought a good long time
But could not think of a single rhyme,
“I’m sorry,” said he, “to trouble you.”

–James Reeves

Can I Be A Man of Constant Prayer?

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I’ve decided to try a different approach to my prayer life.

St. Paul tells us in 1Thessolonians 5:16-18 to pray without ceasing or, to pray constantly. Constant prayer seems like a lofty goal impossible to achieve. It’s tempting to say, “Oh, Paul just means we should pray a lot and be consistent about it. He didn’t mean literally all the time every day of the week! Good grief, even monks aren’t on their knees with folded hands all the time!”

Instead of minimizing Paul’s challenge, I’ve decided to accept it at face value. However, I won’t be constantly praying on my knees or even with words. I’m taking a clue from St. Thérèse de Lisieux who said, “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.”

So, here is what I have decided to do:

When I wake up in the morning I will start by making the sign of the cross (which, by the way, is a prayer). Then, I will resolve to make my living out of that day a prayer by recognizing God’s presence and God’s love regardless of circumstances. If I’m feeling mad, sad, scared or glad, I will do so knowing that God sees, cares and understands. I will allow my heart and my mind to simply look toward heaven.

I like to use the metaphor of being in a car with someone. Even if both of us are silent, we still sense each other’s presence. It’s hard to be in a car with someone and forget about that person entirely. If we have a conversation, that’s like “on-my-knees” praying. If we are silently riding along together, we’re still aware of each other.

I still intend to have “on-my-knees” conversations with God. In between those conversations I will pray constantly simply by being aware of God. Before I go to sleep, I’ll dedicate my heartbeat and my breathing to God (like lighting a prayer candle), and let my body pray until my mind wakes up the next day.

Going Directly To God

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Catholic prayers, liturgies and Sacraments begin and end with the sign of the cross and the words, “In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen (so be it).”  We do not simply tack these words on for dramatic effect.  They indicate that we live and move and have our being in the Holy Trinity.

The claim that Catholic Christians somehow circumvent Jesus or do not go “directly to God” is a myth spread by ignorance of Catholicism and sometimes overt, anti-Catholic sentiments.  Even when we ask Mary and the saints for intersession, we are only able to do so through the one mediator, Jesus Christ.  We (including the saints in Heaven) boldly approach the throne of the Almighty Father through the mediation of the Son and by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

Shhh…Listen…

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When doing counseling sessions, I place a noise machine outside my office door to facilitate confidentiality.  The “white noise” prevents anyone standing in the hall from hearing what is being said inside the office.  Most people would not intentionally eavesdrop, but a passerby might accidentally hear our voices.  The noise creates a barrier.

Our world is full of noise.  Recently, I was in a state park far from the sounds of traffic and industry.  As I got out of my car and closed the door I was immediately struck by the silence around me.  The sound of my car door closing seemed swallowed up in the quiet air.  The slightest breeze passing through the trees sounded loud.  The songs of far away birds could easily be perceived.  A sense of the sacred awakened my mind and my soul.  I knew that God was speaking through his creation.

The psalmist wrote, “Be still and know that I am God.”  It can be hard to be still.  It can be hard to find silence.  The “white noise” and activities of this busy world can create a barrier between us and God.  As we walk throughout our day we can miss God’s voice amidst all the distractions.  Sometimes it’s difficult to listen to each other, much less God.  Silence may even feel uncomfortable and awkward because people become so accustomed to all the noise.  When that happens, we tend to avoid silence and seek comfort in the familiar noise.  We avoid the stillness.  We forget how to communicate with God.  Even when we do pray we may talk more to God than listen as we try to fill the “awkward silence” with words.

Some people are better at silent contemplation than others, but we all need it.  We all need to “shush” the world around us so we can focus on the whispers of God.  God does not always speak with rolling thunder.  One of the things I love about the Mass is that it includes periods of silent contemplation.  I like when the priest takes an extra long time sitting in silence after Holy Eucharist and people begin to squirm in their seats.  They want Mass to be over so they can get on with the noise of their day.  It’s never more than a minute or two, but it can seem like longer when we are chomping at the bit to return to the “comfort” of the world’s noise and activity.  It shows how even holy Mass can become just another thing to check off of a list of busy activities.  We have so little silence these days.

Sometimes, we think we’re not worshiping God unless we’re making noise or being animated.  There is a time and a place for such worship and praise, but we need not think we are worshipping less when we are still and quiet.  We are told to make a joyful noise, and we are told to be still.  Both forms of worship have merit.  I like that the Mass includes opportunity for everyone to share in the outward praise and inward contemplation.

This Summer I was struck by the vision of three and a half million Catholics, most of them youths, quietly worshiping on the beach in Rio during Eucharistic adoration with Pope Francis.  They were silently reverent for quite a long time.  It was a rare sight to see that many people being still and knowing God together.  World Youth Day was a blend of jubilant celebration and quiet contemplation.  It was inspiring to see that spiritual balance, especially in youths.

We need to find silence and stillness in daily life.  It is part of being spiritually healthy.  It is also physically and mentally beneficial.  We must find ways to turn off the “white noise machine” of life and hear the still, small voice of God.  There is no shortage of competition for our attention.

What Friends We Have!

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“What a friend we have in Jesus…”  In John chapter 15 Jesus tells his Disciples that he does not consider them servants but friends.  Afterwards, he commands them to love one another.  The love and friendship of God is both vertical and horizontal, like the cross.  This is why Jesus can say, “Whatsoever you do to the least of these, you do it to me.”  So, while a relationship with Jesus is obviously paramount, it in no way excludes the importance of other relationships.  On the contrary, a relationship with Jesus must include relationships with others.  Such is the nature of the Church, the “family of God.”  Being a Christian is never only about “Jesus and me.”  Whether we sin or behave righteously, it affects others.  We are one Body.  We are to be friends with Jesus and with each other.

Who among us would hesitate to confide in good friends when life is difficult?  Would we think twice about asking friends to pray for us?  People commonly post prayer requests on Facebook to “friends” they hardly know.  It can be even more consoling when we know that a close friend or a holy person is praying for us.  A close friend knows us well and can empathize.  A holy person’s prayers are very helpful, according to Scripture.  When the person praying for us is both a close friend and a holy person, it is a powerful combination.

Enter the Saints.  They are ready and willing to pray for us.  They are as holy as can be, and, through Jesus, they know us well.  They are family.  The fact that they have departed from this life does not exclude them from the family of God, it seals their place in the family.  Their love for humanity has been perfected.  They are not dead but are more alive in Christ than we are.  They are not aloof or disinterested in our present lives.  Nor are they secluded in some heavenly, sound-proof chamber that prevents them from knowing our plight.  They know our plight, have endured it, and have been victorious through Jesus Christ.  They are in Christ, not compartmentalized from him somewhere.  Hence, they know us because Jesus knows us.  The Saints are friends of God and they perfectly obey the command, “Love one another.”  They love Jesus and they love us.

To believe that praying to the Saints is idolatry is like saying that asking your friends to pray for you is idolatry.  To “pray” is simply to “ask,” as in, “Pray tell us, how will they fare while you are away?”  Just because it is an old use of the word “pray” does not mean it is “idol worship.”  We ask (pray) the Saints to pray for us because they are righteous, because they are part of the Body of Christ and because we are commanded in Scripture to pray for one another and to love one another.  Nowhere does the Scripture teach us to stop loving and praying with those who are in Heaven.  Scripture does tell us it is wrong to participate in the occult practice of conjuring up spirits.  Catholicism is not a big séance.  The Church does not condone superstition.  We do not ask Saint So-and-so to ring bells or make knocking sounds to communicate with us.  We simply request their prayer intercession.

We can “know” many Saints and relate to them by virtue of the lives they lived and the writings they may have left behind.  We can know of their struggles, their weaknesses, their strengths and their victories.  There are Saints from all walks of life and of all ages.  Whoever you are, there is a Saint that you can identify with on a personal level.  Obviously, Jesus knows what we go through.  Because he knows us, he has also provided other friends for our journey.  These are friends who have run the race, fought the good fight and won the victory by God’s grace.  They have much to teach us.

I encourage you to find a Saint whose life you can relate to on a personal level.  While it is inspiring to reflect upon the Saints as great heroes of the Faith, it can be even more helpful to learn how God helped them with their human vulnerabilities and weaknesses.  Jesus wants us to know that his command to “be perfect” is not out of reach.  Saints are not the exception.  Saints are the standard we are called to.  We are all called to be Saints.  Being more personally acquainted with one who has endured familiar struggles and “made it” is a tremendous spiritual help.  That’s what friends are for; to help each other be Saints.  If you haven’t done so already, become personally acquainted with a Saint or two.

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens the countenance of a friend. (Proverbs 27:17)

Oh, Grandma, Not The Rosary Again!

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I have to admit that being raised Catholic did not instill in me an appreciation for the Rosary.  An overnight stay with my grandparents was fun, but it also included saying the Rosary before bed.  I remember being quite bored.  The main reason I counted the beads was to know how much more I needed to endure before it was over.  I never really caught on to the profound beauty of the Rosary and my view of it remained a childish one well into adulthood.  Hence, it was easy for non-Catholic Christians to convince me that it was just “vain repetition” and another part of “that Catholic religion” that needed to be discarded for a “real” relationship with Jesus.

I’m not sure if I lacked proper instruction, or if I just didn’t listen to what the Rosary is really about.  I see it much differently now.  In the movie The Passion of the Christ, there is a scene where Jesus is carrying the cross and his mother, Mary, watches him fall painfully to the ground.  She flashes back to a time when Jesus was a boy.  She sees her little boy fall and she runs to His aid.  Now He is carrying the cross to His death.  She wants desperately to help Him, but she also knows that she can’t.  Her little boy is suffering and dying for you and for me.  The sword has pierced Mary’s heart.  Jesus is suffering because of His “yes” to the will of His Father.  Mary is suffering due to her “yes” to God, too.  “I am the handmaid of the Lord.  Let it be done to me according to thy will.”

In that short movie scene we can see a “little Rosary.”  It is a glimpse of Jesus through His mother’s eyes.  Of all the people who will ever live, no one knows and loves Jesus like Mary.  The Rosary is a journey through pivotal events in the life of Christ through the eyes of Mary.  She is the greatest, most obedient disciple of Christ.  Thus, she always points us to her Son.  Like she told the servants at the wedding of Cana, “Do whatever He tells you.”  Mary exemplifies the essence of Catholic teaching.  She is all about Jesus, not herself.

The Rosary can certainly become a series of vain repetitions if it is approached that way.  But, like me at my grandparents’ house, that is a childish perspective.  When properly meditated upon, the prayers of the Rosary unite our hearts with Christ and inspire our discipleship.  The mother of my Brother is my mother, too.  For the Christian, God is Father, Christ is Brother, and Mary is mother.  That’s why Jesus gave Mary to John, “the disciple who loved Him,” from the cross.  John represents all Christians in that exchange.  The Rosary is quality prayer time together with the family of God and it includes meditation on our mother’s unique perspective.  There’s nothing vain about that.  It’s all about knowing Jesus better.

The Choice Of Christian Love: Where The Rubber Meets The Road

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The love that Jesus demands from his disciples is not a feeling or an emotion.  Jesus commands Christians to love as an act of the will.  It is a decision that we make.  It is a decision to desire good for the other.  That is what godly love is.  Godly love is not:

-liking that person

-enjoying that person’s company

-feeling good or warm and fuzzy about that person

-approving of that person’s sin and evil behavior

-completely understanding that person

-an absence of anger toward that person and/or injustice

-an absence of accountability for that person’s actions

Godly love desires the good of the other, which would include the healing of mental, physical and spiritual wounds and the removal of any evil influences that have taken hold of that person.  Hence, Jesus told his followers to love their enemies and to pray for those that despitefully used them and persecuted them for his name’s sake.  Human perpetrators of evil are perhaps mentally ill, deeply wounded or even possessed by powers of darkness we cannot comprehend.  We live in a world that is both natural and supernatural.  We cannot see all ends, but Jesus can.  According to him, love and prayer is an important response.  He showed us that very thing, even from the cross.

Love of enemy is probably one of the hardest commands of Jesus Christ, but also one of the most critical.  The closer to home it hits, the harder it becomes.  I don’t know how I would react to evil acts perpetrated against my own family.  I don’t know if I could find my love of enemy hidden within all of my anger, grief and desire for vengeance.  It is hard enough when evil hits a family I don’t even know.  But, I also know in my heart that such love is precisely where the rubber meets the road where Christianity is concerned.

I think about Pope John Paul II meeting with his would-be assassin and forgiving him.  I think about the Amish folks that expressed forgiveness for the murderous attack to their community.  I think about the United States being called a Christian Nation by so many.  There are lots of prayers for peace.  I wonder how many sermons will be about love of enemy this Sunday.  I hope our prayers for peace include the love of enemy Christ requires of us.  Scripture says that without love, we are nothing.  Yes, perpetrators need to be held accountable.  But, if our prayers for peace are tainted by hatred, they might be more noise than prayer. 

All the Bible knowledge and Christian apologetic skill in the world is nothing if it’s not put into practice in real life.  I’m working on my attitude.  God help me.  God help the victims of evil and violence.  God help the perpetrators of evil and violence.  God help our world.

Part 6: Grant Me The Grace To Desire It

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The last section of The Litany of Humility takes the desires from the first section and shows that it is not enough to be delivered from them.  Once we are delivered from a self centered desire we could easily slip into a state of self satisfaction and miss the point.  We are delivered for a reason beyond seeking our own comfort.  We are delivered for service to others.

A true servant places a priority on the needs of those being served.  We all have experienced good and bad service at a restaurant or some other establishment.  Some servers put their hearts into it and leave their customers feeling well cared for.  Other servers just go through the motions to get a paycheck.  They really don’t care about customers.  Christians are called to service to God and to others.  Are we placing God and others in a place of priority?  Or, are we placing priority on making sure we are comfortable?  Godly humility seeks to be delivered from certain desires and fears in order that we may set self aside and prioritize others.

For example, “Lord Jesus, deliver me from the desire to be esteemed and the fear of being forgotten so that others may be esteemed more than I.”  All three parts go together.  The humility is a prerequisite for Christian service.  None of this can be accomplished apart from God’s empowering grace.  Therefore, the litany includes, “Grant me the grace to desire it.”  We won’t even want to seek humility without the prompting of God’s grace.  We must pray for the desire to even begin to seek true humility because it isn’t natural.  True humility is spiritual.

Part 5: The Fears

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A recurring theme in Scripture is, “Be not afraid” or “Fear not.”  Yet, fear is often a powerful driving force in our lives.  Fear can often be traced to one or more of the desires the Litany of Humility asks deliverance from.  If any given desire does not have dominion over us, the fear of not meeting that desire will fade as well.

For example, consider my own experience mentioned earlier of being picked last to be on a team.  When my desire of being preferred was not satisfied, I felt humiliated.  The fear of humiliation and the desire of being preferred dovetail together.  If I am delivered of the desire, I am delivered of the fear and vice versa.  If I have no fear of being humiliated, I won’t have the desire of being one of the early picks for the team.  If I’m unconcerned about when I am chosen, I’ll have no fear of any humiliation by being picked last.

The fears mentioned in the litany, like the desires, place a focus on self interest.  Self preservation is human nature.  What the prayer seeks is a spirituality that transcends the natural human tendencies.  We are not simply animals motivated by natural drives and instincts.  We are both material and spiritual, a trait not shared by the animals (material beings) or the angels (spiritual beings).  We are created to bridge the gap between the natural and the spiritual (and will continue as such in the resurrection).  We are unique.  Therefore, it is not asking too much of us to seek a spiritual holiness that transcends mere natural drive and instinct.  In other words, we are designed to confront our natural fears with spiritual solutions.  This also means we can seek and find the ability to regard others over and above self rather than life being “all about me.”

Rather than address each fear in the prayer one-by-one, suffice it to say that fear is an obstacle to humility.  Fear prevents us from truly knowing God and placing complete trust in Christ.  Some fear is good and healthy, like the kind of fear that prevents one from stepping in front of a moving bus.  However, much of our fear gets in the way of knowing God and knowing each other as God would have us.  Our fear prevents true humility and godly love.

So, what fears are keeping me from true humility?  Deliver me from the fears, Jesus.  You who intimately knows both our material and our spiritual being, deliver us.

Part 4: The Desire To Be Preferred, Consulted and Approved

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Pick me!  Pick me!  Don’t pick them!  Don’t pick them!  The desire of being preferred means that others must be passed over to make room for me, and I’m happy about it.  It is the competitive streak of the sore loser.  It manifests itself in poor sportsmanship and arrogance.  It is quite possible, however, for an accomplished athlete to be competitively successful while simultaneously exhibiting humility.  Pride and arrogance must not be confused with confidence.

There have been times in my life when being picked last to be on a team was disappointing and humiliating.  But it was the wrong kind of humility I was experiencing.  I was experiencing a self-defilement of sorts, feeling sorry for myself and placing my worth in the hands of other people rather than in God’s hands.  In other words, being picked last hurt my pride, and I thought I needed that pride to be worth something.  Additionally, focusing on my wounded pride caused my performance in the game to suffer.  It was a kind of self fulfilling prophecy.  But even if I wasn’t at all skilled in that game it had nothing to do with my worth in God’s eyes.

The desire to be consulted is another challenge.  I’m a therapist.  I’m supposed to want people to come to me for consultation.  I’m supposed to be good at what I do and take pride in my work.  So, why get rid of my desire to be consulted?  I think it has more to do with wanting to be a know-it-all.  No one knows everything.  Even consultants need to consult with others for information and continuing education.  I may have lots of answers, but only God has all the answers.  An unhealthy desire to be consulted makes it hard to say, “I don’t know.”  The person who knows it all has nothing to learn, and that can be very dangerous.

The desire to be approved is another attempt at stroking the ego.  Like the other pitfalls in the prayer, approval can be just another way of focusing on self at the expense of others.  There have been occasions when people approved of me just to be manipulative.  “Buttering people up” is a great way to influence them.  Be wary of people’s approval.  Sometimes they just want something from you.  The desire for approval can backfire very quickly.  It can also become addictive.  Know that you are loved by God regardless of other people’s approval.  There will always be people that disapprove of you.  God may disapprove of some of our actions, but God never disapproves of us.  God is our biggest cheerleader.

From the desire to be preferred, consulted or approved, deliver me, Jesus!