Tag Archives: Conversion

Please Don’t Pick Me, Please Don’t Pick Me…!

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Have you ever experienced the feeling of being called out in a crowd?  Do you remember hiding behind the head of the student in front of you so the teacher wouldn’t call your name to answer a question or solve a problem on the board?  Perhaps you have avoided eye contact with performers at a show as they scanned the audience for volunteers.  Maybe you have participated in a prayer group and secretly hoped the leader wouldn’t ask you to lead the group in a closing prayer.  There can be comfort in anonymity.  We sometimes prefer to be lost in the crowd and not called out.  The shadows feel safer than the spotlight.

There have been occasions when my enjoyment of a show turned to dread as the performers left the stage to wander the audience looking for a “victim” to become part of the show.  My mind was screaming, “Please don’t walk over towards me!”  All I wanted was to enjoy the show, not become part of it.  Of course, if I ever was chosen I would play along and make the best of it.  I’m a bit of a ham when I want to turn loose.  The discomfort is in that initial feeling of being plucked from the security of my shadow.  The heat of the spotlight burns a bit at first.

Think about all the crowds that followed Jesus around watching him perform miracles and listening to him teach.  Imagine being one of those people in the crowd.  There you are, listening to the power and impact of his words.  Maybe you were close enough to actually see him heal someone or drive out a demon.  What if you were among the crowd of five thousand people who were fed from a few fishes and loaves of bread?  Wouldn’t that be amazing?  What a show that would be!

As you stand on your toes and crane your neck to get a better view, you notice that Jesus has turned to face your direction.  He begins to slowly move towards where you are standing and you wonder where he is going.  “Wow,” you think to yourself, “He’s headed this way!  I’ll get an even better look at him!”  (You would be wishing you lived in the 21st century so you could pull out your smart phone and get a picture or even a video of him as he passes by).  The crowd separates and opens a path for Jesus as he draws ever closer to your location.  Now you can see the whites of his eyes.

As he comes closer you realize his eyes are looking towards where you are standing and you are curious about what he is looking at.  You look around and behind yourself to discern where he may be headed.  When you look back at him again it seems as if he is looking right at you.  At first you are somewhat amused.  Then, as it becomes apparent that he has made eye contact with you and is not looking away, your face become flushed and a sense of dread comes over you as the blood seems to drain from your body.  Slowly, yet quite intentionally, Jesus comes face-to-face with you.  He gazes into your eyes, raises his hand and says, “Come.  Follow me.”  The crowd is now staring at you.  They are waiting to see what you will do.

Now, let us travel to the present day.  You are sitting in a pew in a church.  There are many other people around you.  You sit through the service.  You listen to the readings and the preaching.  You sing a song or two.  You watch the activity in front of you.  Perhaps you even feel inspired.  When the “show” is over, you leave and go home.  Once again you have taken your place in the shadows.  You have remained anonymous.  You are comfortably lost in a crowd.  Or, so you think.

Jesus calls all of us by name.  He calls us out from the shadows.  As surely as he stepped into Peter’s boat, he steps into our lives and beckons us to follow him.  He calls us, not only to open our hearts to him, but to live life with him.  He calls us to participate, not to observe.  It is not a moment of acceptance he asks for, but a lifetime of conversion.  Do we avoid his gaze?  Do we hide behind the person in the pew in front of us?  He shines the light on us and says, “Come.  Follow me.”  What will we do?  The harvest is rich and the labourers are few.

What will you have me do, Lord?

“If You Love Me”…A Knight’s Tale

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One of my favorite movies is A Knight’s Tale with Heath Ledger.  There is a part of the story where the knight’s love interest asks him to prove his love for her by intentionally losing the jousting tournament, a tournament he desperately wants to win.  He begrudgingly acquiesces to her request.  Just as he is about to lose the tournament she changes her request and demands that he win to prove his love, which he does.  When the knight’s sidekick remarks on the things one does for love the knight says, “Yes, but now I hate her!”

Jesus said to his disciples, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”  I used to think of his words as being like the knight’s love interest.  In other words, I had to make a concerted effort through my behaviors to “prove” to Jesus and to everyone else that I love him, in some cases, begrudgingly.  It is true that love is an act of the will that is not always “easy.”  Yet, if loving Christ results in a begrudging attitude, something is amiss.  Resentment and love don’t go well together.  For example, Jesus tells us to love our enemies.  He does not mean that we approach our enemies like school children being forced to begrudgingly apologize to each other after a fight on the playground.  He means love them the way he loves them, as souls that he died for.

Eventually, I learned to hear the words, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” in a different way.  At first, it was, “You will do certain things and say certain things to demonstrate that your love for me is genuine.”  Now I hear the words of Jesus saying to me, “A genuine love for me will transform you into a new creature that naturally desires to keep my commandments.”  An analogy might be, “If you are a woodpecker, you will peck wood.”  “If you are a fish, you will swim in and breathe water.”  “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” because doing so will be a natural result of who you have become.

Christians do not always love Jesus.  That is what sin is all about.  Concupiscence is that part of us that does not completely go away with the new birth.  It is the tendency to revert back to our non-transformed state of being and refuse to keep Christ’s commandments.  That’s what sin is.  It is non-love for Christ, others and self.  But, when we love Christ, we are not sinning, we are keeping his commandments.  Repentance and conversion do not happen in one moment.  They happen over a lifetime and only reach completeness when we are in Heaven with God who is love.  We need the Sacraments to sustain us and restore us.  We need the Holy Scriptures and the teaching authority of the Church to guide us by the Holy Spirit.

Hearing the words of Christ in a new way refreshed my Christian walk.  It helped me to focus less on my performance (a self-centered perspective) and more on loving Jesus (a Christ-centered and other-centered perspective).  I’m far from perfect at it, but I’m grateful for the new perspective.  I want to love Christ and to be naturally and continually transformed by him.  That’s what makes following his commandments an “easy yoke” and a “light burden.”

Hey, Let’s Go To Church. Ok, Where Is It?

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I’ve been pondering the word “church” today and considering the various ways it is used.  Here are a few examples:  a church building; a denomination; a personal adjective, as in “church lady;” the entire body of Christian believers; an assembly of believers; an event, as in the expression, “Let’s have church.”  The word “church” is used a bit like the word “love.”  So many meanings derived from one single word.  When Jesus said, “I will build my church” what did he mean?

People generally think Jesus meant that he would create a body of Christian believers.  That is true.  The Church is a body of believers.  This is where many folks stop, however.  Ask them to point to the Church that Jesus built and things begin to get murky.  They may respond that the Church built by Jesus can’t be pointed to because it is invisible.  Since only God can see the heart, only God knows who is saved and who is lost.  Therefore, it would be presumptuous to point to any person or any group and say, “There is the Church.”  Or, they may respond that all of the Christian denominations are the Church.  They simply disagree on non-essential issues.  They all believe in Jesus, so, they are all the Church that Christ founded.

I used to hold to an opinion that combined the two views.  I decided that no one knows who is lost or saved, and every church was a mixture of saved and lost people (the wheat and the tares).  There is some truth to that, but if someone were to ask me to point to the Church that Jesus Christ built I would essentially have to say, “Take your pick.”  Eventually, I ran into some problems with my perspective.

First of all, if the Church is completely invisible, how can anyone find it?  How can an invisible Church be a light for the world?  The “invisible Church” idea sounds more like a Church “hidden under a bushel.”  It is true that only God knows the heart, but it is also true that Jesus started a visible organization and placed men in specific offices within that organization.  The apostles were left in charge of the organization, and they passed their offices on to their successors (i.e. the bishops).  What Jesus started was an organized religion.

Furthermore, Jesus said he would always be with the Church and that the gates of Hell would not prevail against it.  The Church would remain an organized religion with Jesus at the head and the successors of the apostles in charge until the end of time.  Modern day Christendom with its thousands of denominations and conflicting doctrines does not fit the model of what Jesus said he would build.  Jesus prayed for his believers, “That they all would be one as you and I, Father, are one.” (John 17:21)  Can Jesus and the Father have conflicting doctrines?  No.  The Church was to be a visible, organized religion with a hierarchy of leadership and unity of doctrine.

Another problem I ran into was the take-it-to-the-Church concept.  Believers are told that if there is a conflict that can’t be worked out in private, “…take it to the Church.”  If the offending party won’t listen even to the Church, then they are to be treated as a heathen (Matt 18:17).  This simply cannot operate in the modern, multi-denomination world we have today.  One can find YouTube videos galore of different denominations debating various essential topics of Christian doctrine.  For instance, when a Church of Christ believer says that baptism is necessary for salvation, and a non-denominational believer disagrees, how can they resolve their dispute?  Which “church” do they take it to?  All they can do is debate each other endlessly.  They have no final authority to call the shots.  They are both appealing to the Bible as the final authority, yet the Bible is telling them to take their dispute to the Church, something they cannot do.  In other words, the Bible points to the Church as the final authority and the “pillar of truth.” (1Tim 3:15)  But, which church?

Jesus built a Church that is a visible body of believers, has offices with a hierarchy of apostolic successors and functions as the final authority in disputes between believers.  There’s really only one Church that fits that model consistently since the time of Christ.  That’s one of the main reasons I went back to Catholicism.  Submission to the Church built by Christ is submission to Christ.  The two are inseparable.  The final authority for faith and morals is no longer my personal opinion or even my pastor’s opinion.  The authority rests squarely where Christ placed it 2000 years ago, even before there was a Bible.  Like it or not, the authority rests within the Catholic Church.  This is not arrogance.  It doesn’t mean all the people in the Church are perfect.  Far from it.  If not for the Holy Spirit, the Church would have imploded centuries ago.  It’s still here because it’s Christ’s Church.  He started it and he holds it together even when we try to tear it apart.