Tag Archives: Christian

Just How Personal Is Your Relationship With Jesus?

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There are lots of people that say they have a personal relationship with Jesus.  Only God knows for sure who does and who doesn’t.  I’m certainly not here to judge.  Lately I’ve been reflecting on what it means to be in a personal relationship with someone.

A personal relationship is reciprocal.  When two people are good friends, for example, they trust each other with a lot of personal stuff about each other.  That’s what makes it “personal.”  There are things they know about each other that mere acquaintances probably don’t know, at least not as well as they do.  If I know a lot about a person, but that person knows little or nothing about me, that’s a one-way relationship, and that’s not very personal.  Someone might be able to find a lot of personal information about me on the internet or by rooting through my trash, but that doesn’t mean we have a personal relationship with each other.

A good example of a personal relationship is a marriage.  Spouses know a lot about each other.  The longer they are married, the more they know.  There may even be things they wish they didn’t know.  As a marriage therapist, I see it all the time.  In addition to knowing each other, spouses also know each other’s families.  Sometimes knowing the spouse’s family is a happy, joyful experience.  Other times, it can be quite trying.  In-laws can be very supportive or very frustrating to a marriage.

The point is, being married makes you a part of each other’s families.  It comes with being in a very personal relationship.  When a couple is dating, one common sign that things are becoming more serious (personal) is the meeting of the parents.  If you want your date to know your parents, and your parents to know your date, your dating relationship is likely becoming quite personal.  Most people want the one they love to be accepted and embraced by family members, especially parents.

So, what about you and Jesus?  If you are a Christian, then you are a member of the Church.  The Church is the Bride and Jesus is the Bridegroom.  Paul talks about this mystery and how marriage relates to the relationship of Jesus to the Church.  Jesus already knows everything about you, but how much do you know about him?  How “personal” is your relationship?  Jesus knows all about your parents and your family.  Have you met his parents and his family?  How familiar are you with the person of Jesus?

The Apostles had very personal relationships with Jesus.  We don’t know how long Joseph his stepfather lived, but we do know that the Apostles knew Jesus’ mother, Mary.  She was part of the family.  She knew Jesus better than anyone.  Her relationship with Jesus was the most personal of all.  For the Disciples, a personal relationship with Jesus included having a personal relationship with his mother.  Jesus affirmed this relationship from the cross when he told John (the disciple Jesus loved), “Behold your mother,” and told Mary, “Behold your son.”  From that moment, John took Mary into his home.  That is a very personal relationship.  To know and love Jesus is to know and love his mother, Mary.

Notice that Jesus did not tell John to “Worship my mother and become an idolater.”  Nor does the Catholic Church tell people to do so.  The Catholic Church simply recognizes that having a personal relationship with Jesus includes his whole family, and that his mother holds a distinctive place, not only as the mother of Jesus (God), but as the greatest disciple of Jesus.  Mary is like the moon which reflects the light of the sun.  She reflects the light of her Son, she does not emit her own light.  Knowing Mary personally is simply part of knowing Jesus personally, just like knowing one’s in-laws is part of knowing one’s spouse.

Many Christians sing a song that says, “I’m so glad I’m a part of the Family of God.”  Who is that family?  It includes more than just the other Christians here on Earth.  The family of God also includes Mary and the other saints in Heaven (the great cloud of witnesses that surrounds us).  They are all alive with Christ, and getting to know them better is to know Jesus better (more personally).  No matter who you are, there is a Saint that you can relate to and become a prayer partner with.  “The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous person avails much,” and the saints in Heaven are as righteous as can be.  So, we Catholics ask them to pray for us and with us.  We don’t worship them or “conjure up the dead.”  We just include them in Jesus’ personal family of God.

Do you know Jesus personally?  Is your relationship with him reciprocal?  He knows your family.  Do you take time to get to know his family?  Do you know Mary, his mother, like the Apostles did?  Have you “taken her into your own house?”  If not, you might consider reevaluating just how personal your relationship with Jesus is.  Being a Christian isn’t just about you and Jesus.  And it isn’t just about you, Jesus and your local Christian buddies.  Being a Christian is about the whole family.  It’s a spiritually interpersonal relationship that transcends this present life here on Earth and centers on the person of Jesus Christ.

Catholics And Bibles

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I’m currently reading through the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  It’s a great way to learn what the Church actually teaches rather than what it supposedly teaches (or doesn’t teach).  Too often we hear inaccurate things about Catholicism from people that either misunderstand Church teachings or deliberately distort those teachings.  It is always best to go directly to the source rather than rely on hearsay.  It is particularly dangerous to rely on sources that obviously oppose the Church, since such information is likely to be tainted in favor of the opposition.

As I read through the Catechism, I intend to post thoughts and reflections on certain topics that impress me the most.  Here is my first Catechism reflection about Scripture:

Why am reading the Catechism instead of the Bible?  Actually, I am reading the Bible.  That is one of the things about the Catechism that I find impressive.  It is very rooted in Scripture and refers to it often in support of the Church teachings.  It is, in effect, a Bible study.

One of the things Catholics often get accused of is not studying Scripture.  There are even folks who believe that Catholics are not allowed to read the Bible.  Most Catholics may not be able to quote memorized Scripture chapter and verse.  However, if they are faithfully attending church they will hear nearly the entire Bible read to them over a three year period.  The Mass itself is loaded with Scriptural references.  All it takes is listening.  If you go to Mass and actually pay attention, you will be studying the Bible.  The problem isn’t the Mass.  The problem is people not paying attention.

So, does that mean that the Catholic Church doesn’t want Catholics to read the Bible at home?  No.  The opposite is true.  Paragraph 133 in the Catechism says, “The Church forcefully and specifically exhorts all the Christian faithful to learn the surpassing knowledge of Jesus Christ by frequent reading of the divine Scriptures.  Ignorance of the Scriptures is ignorance of Christ.”  That is the teaching of the Catholic Church.  Read and study your Bibles, Catholics!

Now, the fact that many Catholics would rather watch television or play video games than read their Bibles says nothing about Church teaching.  The fact that many Catholics leave Catholicism for other churches out of a desire to study the Bible also says nothing about Church teaching.  What it says is that Catholics need to wake up and learn what their Church actually teaches and then follow the teaching.

Catholics also need to stop letting non-Catholics teach them about their own faith.  Think about it.  How many non-Catholic Christians are going to tell a Catholic to study the Bible because the Catholic Church says they should?  Not likely.  Non-Catholic Christians are typically going to say, “Hey, you Catholics don’t know the Bible and you don’t study the Bible, so come to my church where we study the Bible all the time.”  Imagine what would happen if every Catholic could respond with, “What do you mean?  We hear the Bible at every Mass.  The Church also exhorts us to study the Bible!  I don’t need to leave Catholicism to study the Bible!  I already go to a Bible study!”

Catholics, if your parish doesn’t have a decent Bible study, then either start one or find a parish that has one.  No more excuses.  Just because many non-Catholic churches have thriving Bible studies does not mean that they are teaching what is right and accurate.  Catholics may need to work on developing better Bible studies, but that does not mean the Catholic Church does not have the truth to teach.  It simply means that this is an area where Catholics need some improvement.  So, let’s do it.  It’s time we started inviting non-Catholics to our Bible studies so that they can learn all about the fullness of the Christian Faith found in the Catholic Church.  Of course, it certainly helps if we ourselves know about that fullness and what it means.

My Reversion Story

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I’ve created a new tab with my reversion story.  You can read it here.

*Warning* This Post Is Rated PG-13! (Contains bathroom and Spiderman references, but not too many)

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This morning I was sitting in the bathroom minding my own business, so to speak, and all was quiet and serene.  (TMI? Hey, I need to create the proper effect here.)  Anyway, the calming silence was broken by an unsettling “plopping” sound in front of me on the somewhat dark, earth toned, vinyl tiled floor.  (Not the location where one would expect such a sound to emanate from in that context, so you can imagine my surprise.)

The intricate thought process I am about to convey was completed in less than a second, thanks to the marvelous capacity of the human brain.  “What the heck was that?  Water?  Is there a leak?  Couldn’t be a leak, there’s no pipe up there.  It hasn’t rained, either, and besides, I’m on the lower level.  What on earth…?”  After that brief second, I noticed that part of the dark, earth toned, vinyl floor was moving.  Water does not move that way on a flat surface.  In a nanosecond my eyes finally focused on a rather large centipede making its way towards me from about two and a half feet away.  When a bug hits the floor with a loud “plop,” you know it has substantial mass.

Now, being a boy who grew up in the woods, I’m generally not freaked out by bugs and such.  There are those rare occasions when a particularly large spider or snake suddenly appears in very close proximity that my natural fight-or-flight survival instincts kick in and I reflexively react with some odd noises and/or body spasms.  But usually, I’m cool.

This time I was cool, although I did feel a sense of urgency beginning to come upon me because those darn centipedes are fast.  There was no way I was going to let this one live to ambush me another day.  Who knew, maybe the next time it dropped from the ceiling it would be a direct hit to the top of my head.  Then there would really be some odd noises and body spasms.  I could not allow that to happen, especially in the bathroom where one is most…well…vulnerable.

So, as it made its way towards me, I stood up and my brain began another thought process at warp speed.  I looked around for my weapon of choice.  Toilet paper?  No.  This one was too big for toilet paper.  Might chew through it and sink its little teeth into my finger.  Step on it?  No, too messy.  I have three year old twins.  Didn’t need more mess to clean up.  Suddenly, my eyes fixed on the used washcloth that was draped over the edge of the sink.  Eureka!  It was thick enough to protect me from the beast and already in need of a washing.  I grabbed that washcloth and began stalking.  The hunted had become the hunter.  I thought I could hear ominous music playing in the background.

I monitored its movement around the base of the toilet and waited for the right moment to strike.  I congratulated myself on the calking job I had done around the baseboards, the toilet and the sink when I remodeled the bathroom.  There were few crevices it could seek refuge in.  Now, I’m usually a slow moving, easy going kind of person.  That’s because I save up all my speed and energy for important moments like this one.  In one, swift motion I lunged, scooped and threw that monster into the toilet…along with the washcloth.  Oh well, like I said, it needed to be washed anyway.

When the monster and the washcloth parted ways I rescued the cloth and flushed the bug.  Then I waited and flushed again.  No way was that thing going to swim back up and get on my six o’clock.  I flushed a third time.  Third time’s a charm.  By then it was probably sitting on a piece of debris, floating out to sea and kicking itself for trying to play Spiderman on the ceiling.  I’ll bet that centipede kicked itself at least a hundred times.

As for me it was back to business as usual with the sounds of silence to accompany me.  I looked up at the light fixture on the ceiling and remembered the old fighter pilot adage, “Beware of the Hun in the sun!”  Then I heard someone calling, “Daddy!  Where are you?”

On Drumming And Holiness: Getting Out Of The Way

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I remember Neil Peart (the famous drummer of RUSH) talking about what he learned by taking drum lessons from the old master teacher Freddie Gruber.  Neil had already achieved great fame many times over for his drumming, but he was willing to learn more.  So he took some lessons.  He learned a new approach to playing that involved more circular, fluid movements and less aggressive “striking down” on the drum for every beat.  As a result, his playing gained a more natural feel.  Neil described it as “me getting out of the way of what the sticks were naturally trying to do.”  I liked that description because it put words to something I had experienced in my own playing.  There are times when I feel I am working for every beat. Then there are times when the rhythm flows naturally.  In those natural moments, it is almost as if the sticks know where to go and I am following them.  My grip is relaxed enough to allow the sticks to rebound as they want to, yet firm enough not to drop them.  I, the drummer, am not “in the way” of the sticks.

Tonight, I was listening to Fr. Larry Richards being interviewed on EWTN about his new book on surrender.  There were a couple things he mentioned that resonated with me as he commented on the meaning of holiness and surrender.

Surrender is not “giving up.” Surrender is laying down one’s life for others.  It involves placing oneself third on a list of priorities.  God comes first, then others, then me.  Surrender is spiritual strength.

About holiness he said that deciding to be holy and then setting about to accomplish the task of holiness is heresy.  Such an approach is self-centered as it becomes all about me and my holiness.  Holiness is not something I can accomplish.  Next, he said something that immediately called to mind the drum lessons of Neil Peart.  “Holiness is me getting out of the way so that Christ within me can work.”  As a drummer, if I get in the way of the sticks, my playing suffers.  As a Christian, if I get in the way of Christ, my holiness suffers.  As a drummer, I have to relinquish just enough control so as to not interfere with the natural flow of the rhythm.  As a Christian, I must surrender all control in order for the holiness of Christ to work through me.

Then Fr. Larry mentioned the following verse:

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.  I do not frustrate the grace of God; for if righteousness comes from the law, then Christ is dead in vain.  (Galatians 2:20-21)

Lord, help me to get out of your way, so your natural holiness can flow.